Our Impotent Generation

http://nymag.com/news/features/my-generation-2011-10/

Our generation has E.D.

We, the “Millennials,” the most recent college graduates, are supposed to be popping our life cherries- only most of us can’t get it up. Record high unemployment and underemployment means that your barista at Starbucks may have actually scored better on the SATs than you did. (The one who just served me my Salted Caramel Mocha definitely has a better vocabulary than I do.) Many blame the economy, the government, education, or “Wall Street.” Yes there are some unfavorable conditions out there right now. But it’s time to grow a pair and stop blaming the environment for your whisky dick.

Many of our talented peers have been forced to revert to communism-a.k.a collect unemployment. (I’ll be giving handys to truckers before I give up on capitalism but that’s besides the point). You can’t blame the economy. “Occupy Wall Street” was born of young people who are rebelling against the game because they never learned how to play. Today’s college grad has a great education on how to be fed, but most don’t know how to fish.

New York Magazine’s October 24th cover article, with caption “Sucks to be Us,” documents the current situation of young Americans, who can’t find meaningful work despite “doing the right thing.” “Right” meaning conventional. If you went to high school in the 21st century it should look very familiar. Here it is simplified:

1. Get good grades/SAT score.
2. Go to most expensive school who will accept you.
3. Major in a field where there is a “demand.”
4. Get good grades and “participate” in extra-curricular activities to fill up your resume.
5. Go back-packing in Europe before you “commit to your career."
6. Get a “cushy” job (and pray you don’t have a mid-life crisis.)
7. Settle down in the suburbs with 2.5 kids and dog.
8. Retire, cash in on your IRA, tell your grand-kids to do the same.

Many are met with frustration when they follow the formula to a T and but don’t find the promised land. We have the highest unemployment rate of adults with college degrees (and the corresponding debt) since WWII. Noreen Malone, the author of the previously mentioned New York mag article and fellow 20-something, quotes her friend Lael who exclaimed,

“[T]ell me what I need to do to get ahead, because I did everything right!”

The conventional formula was made with good intentions. The conventional path becomes convention because at one point it was strategy with the highest probability of the desired result: “not being a fuck up.” Parents and teachers in the last 2-3 decades wanted a way to recreate “success” in cookie-cutter fashion. This mass production of “successful” worker-bees has zapped many Millennials individual determinism, removing the passion for self-actualization. Ayn Rand must be spinning in her grave.

"Happiness is that state of consciousness which proceeds from the achievement of one's values."

Read more:http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/a/ayn_rand.html#ixzz1c5cIcgCm

When I was in college we were taught “how to have a career.” The School of Management even had a class on resume writing and interviewing- as if there was a formula to “selling yourself.” Resume templates and prep questions made all the business students at the University of Buffalo quasi-identical “job-hunting ants.” The result is obliviousness to a common sense truth:

Marketing yourself doesn't matter if the product sucks.

Seth Godin kicked Madison Avenue in the balls with Purple Cow. For those of you not in marketing and have never heard of it, the gist of the book is that the best marketing is in the product itself. Today it’s too easy to distribute information with this Internet thingy people are using. No amount of advertising will sell a product that isn’t worth talking about. The best marketing is to make the product remarkable, and let the word spread. This is true for a person as much if not more so than a product.

Kids are being being taught to strive for grades over knowledge, credentials over experience. Ideally your grades are a representation of what you know, but many Dean’s List recipients have no idea how to apply such knowledge a semester later. Your resume is supposed represent your character and experiences. But if your activity in the student government was just a ploy to be “marketable,” you are no better than a broken down car with a fresh coat of paint.

“I admit my co-secretaryship of the math club had nothing to do with any passion for numbers and much to do with the extra credit points.”

-Noreen Malone, The Kids Are Actually Sort of Alright. New York Magazine. Oct 24th, 2011.

Too much weight has been placed on seeking others’ approval. Basing your success on whether or not a recruiter is impressed by your resume forfeits your locus of control. If the job market shifts (I hear we’re in a recession), then suddenly the time you spent on “impressive activities” is worthless. You’ve invested in Confederate money.

"Dagnabbit!"

Jefferson Davis would have been a billionaire if only the South had won.

Developing skills and character is the only investment that is guaranteed a return. Working on yourself for your own fulfillment means you will have recession-proof value. This will always be rewarded with positive life experiences even if Corporate America isn’t giving handouts. A highly developed skill set means you can stay hard regardless of the economy or any other circumstances. Hopefully the shitty economy will teach our impotent generation that we are not entitled to anything. You might actually have to stimulate yourself in order to get it up.

p.s. I'm not anti-Occupy Wall Street. I'm actually a big fan of free speech and drum circles,