Skeletons on the front lawn

"If people searched your belongings after you died, would they be surprised at what they would find?"

This was one of the questions I answered on my OK Cupid profile. (Yes I have an account, no I'm not shy about it.) I answered "maybe, a little" but I want the answer to be "NO." Not because I want to clear my life of controversial activities, but because I don't want my "skeletons" to be hidden in a closet. It's all about the moral of Congruence.

"About morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after."

-Ernest Hemingway

We naturally feel internal discomfort anytime we speak against our thoughts, or act against our words. This is a subconscious mechanism to have us always stay congruent. 

I don't think anyone I know would describe me as a "moral" person. I'm almost completely indifferent to both politics and religion, I frequently debauch until sunrise, and sometimes I don't wash my hands after I use the bathroom. My sense of right and wrong is often directed by how I feel at a given moment. Good and bad are matters of perception. Morality is subjective. 

My only concrete "moral" is congruence. Congruence is having all of your thoughts, speech, and action in alignment. Congruence is about representing every aspect of yourself, good, bad, and ugly without filtering. 

If there is something you do that you would be embarrassed about, either stop doing it, or stop being embarrassed. To continue doing something incongruent with your image is a crime against self. If you truly believe that you are doing the right thing, then you should be able to defend your actions without shame. You are whoever you are. Act that way.

The Virtue of Selfishness

"Secure your mask first, children and others after."

Anyone who has been on an airplane has heard a flight attendant say those safety instructions. The logic is simple. In the case of an air-related emergency (I'm not actually sure what would cause the masks to fall down), any "self-less" dude who tries to help a child with her mask before fixing his own may end up passing out, leaving both man and child in peril. When it comes to security, resources, or even emotional support, you can't help others till you help yourself. 

Only the strong can protect the weak, only rich can care for the poor, only the smart can look out for the stupid. Of course not every strong, rich, smart individual will use his or her powers for good. Why do bad things happen to good people? Because they let them, and good and bad are subjective. 

"The best thing you can do for the world is make the most of yourself."

-Wallace Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich

Doing right by you is the best thing you can do for everyone else.

You have to have it before you can give it away.